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Saddam Captured: Bush Will Win Re-Election

Joey Dauben

George W. Bush won re-election with the news of Saddam Hussein's capture.

Just four months prior to this latest development to come from Iraq, I had
predicted not too publicly, I might add a capture would take place
either bin Laden or Hussein that would swirl the nation and the world in
euphoria and relief, and would pave the way for Bush's re-election to the
White House for another four years.

The 10 Democrats don't have a chance.

Ironically, before going to sleep, my last prayer was for God to wake me up
in time to see NBC's Meet the Press with Tim Russert; for a few weeks, I had
missed my favorite Sunday news show and wanted to make sure I was up for
this one.

I woke up to Russert's voice being interviewed by Tom Brokaw, and almost
half-awake, I heard the news.

"Just as I predicted," I thought.

And already, there is controversy surrounding how Hussein, who was
reportedly captured in an 8 x 10 "hole" armed with $750,000 cash (American
dollars or new Iraqi money?) and three weapons, plus a couple of advisors,
will be tried.

Before getting into those details, Russert described a gathering in which
Vice President Dick Cheney and Central Intelligence Agency Director George
Tenet were in attendance, and according to Russert, amid video footage of
Hussein going under a checkup, Cheney and Tenet had been "a little more"
joyous; he said it was "ironic" that this happened hours before the official
word went out.

The president, Russert went on to report, had been given the news prior to
U.S. Administrator Paul Bremer's announcement of "We got him." I have no
doubt that it's customary for intelligence officials to brief the most-high
of officials, but Russert's testimony is proof Bush & Co. knew exactly what
was going to happen.

Even the details surrounding Hussein's capture have already been blurry; of
all the insurgency, suicide bombings, and troops around Tikrit and Baghdad,
Hussein just up and decides to bunker down in a "spider hole," conveniently
weeks before the biggest events in the Democratic Party schedule? Of course,
the speculation that the CIA could have had a part in "finding" Hussein
(40-50 miles outside of Tikrit) would be worthy of consideration; who are
they trying to kid, though, we know well, we should know that the CIA
had tracked Hussein (he was THEIR creation after all) this whole time, and
really and this makes sense the apprehension would be the icing on the
Iraq quagmire cake, and would ultimately seal Bush's re-election.

Now, back to the controversy about what to do with Hussein: the United
Nations Security Council authorized the U.S. to drive Hussein out during
Gulf War I, and that fact is half the justification for going back there for
Gulf War II, so it would not be far-fetched to allow the U.N. after all,
Iraq I & II were U.N. wars to try him and execute him (if they have such a
policy).

Of course, everything happening in Iraq is "for the Iraqi people" (spare me,
please), so don't expect any U.N. role yet, anyway.

Conservatives will be livid if in fact Hussein is brought before the baby
blue-decorated "world government" body for trial, but the entire war was
sold on those original Security Council resolutions given to the first Bush
nine years ago anyway, so if anything, it would only be fitting that the
U.N. take control of their war (not saying I support this; just a fact).

Sparing a bigger and more catastrophic event no Democrat will come close
come November 2004.

Mark my word, if the high spirit surrounding the Hussein capture quiets
down, expect NATO (they're controlling Afghanistan's operations now) to find
Osama bin Laden in one of those much-talked about caves we have been hearing
about.
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