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Feds Warn of Zombie Apocalypse! Buy emergency kit, but you might be a terrorist if…

Posted By admin On September 11, 2012 @ 2:27 am In Commentary | Comments Disabled

Network World [1]
Sept 11, 2012

Homeland Security warned, “The zombies are coming!” FEMA says get your emergency preparedness kit ready, but the LAPD adopted 15 of the DOJ’s ridiculous lists regarding ‘Potential Indicators of Terrorist Activities.’

The question morphs from how will we survive the zombie apocalypse, to how will we prepare an emergency kit without such “suspicious behaviors” and buying activities flagging us as potential domestic terrorists?

How do you kill a zombie? No, not a zombie process killed via command line [2], but the brain-eating kind. Boom, headshot! Right? We’ll get back to that because the Department of Homeland Security announced [3], “The zombies are coming!”

As if warning a zombie apocalypse is imminent, FEMA hosted a webinar [4] for its Citizen Corps encouraging emergency planners “to use the threat of zombies — the flesh-hungry, walking dead — to encourage citizens to prepare for disasters.”

It’s cute, funny and, with Halloween approaching, possibly a viral approach to disaster preparedness [5]like the CDC’s brilliant zombie apocalypse theme [6]. The CDC’s campaign [7] was so successful that it crashed the agency’s servers.

However after real cannibalism, like a man eating a homeless man’s face [8], as well as human heart and brain-eating [9] happened this summer, the panic also forced theCDC to admit [10] that zombies don’t really exist. Shocker! The CDC told the Huffington Post [11], “CDC does not know of a virus or condition that would reanimate the dead (or one that would present zombie-like symptoms).”

Full article here [1]


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URLs in this post:

[1] Network World: http://www.networkworld.com/community/blog/feds-warn-zombie-apocalypse-buy-emergency-kit-you-might-be-terrorist-if

[2] zombie process killed via command line: http://how-to.wikia.com/wiki/How_to_display_and_kill_zombie_processes

[3] Department of Homeland Security announced: http://news.yahoo.com/seriously-government-warns-citizens-zombie-apocalypse-urge-better-230018621.html

[4] webinar: https://connect.hsin.gov/p70298800/?launcher=false&fcsContent=true&pbMode=normal

[5] disaster preparedness: http://emergency.cdc.gov/preparedness/kit/disasters/

[6] CDC’s brilliant zombie apocalypse theme: http://blogs.cdc.gov/publichealthmatters/category/zombies/

[7] CDC’s campaign: http://blogs.cdc.gov/publichealthmatters/2011/05/preparedness-101-zombie-apocalypse/

[8] man eating a homeless man’s face: http://abcnews.go.com/US/zombie-apocalypse-miami-face-eating-attack-911-calls/story?id=16481769#.UEy0w41lQf4

[9] heart and brain-eating: http://gossiponthis.com/2012/06/02/zombie-apocalypse-spreads-maryland-california-new-jersey-canada-should-we-be-worried/

[10] CDC to admit: http://www.lifeslittlemysteries.com/2521-zombie-apocalypse.html

[11] CDC told the Huffington Post: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/01/cdc-denies-zombies-existence_n_1562141.html

[12] ZOMBIE ALERT issued by Homeland Security: http://www.prisonplanet.com/zombie-alert-issued-by-homeland-security.html

[13] Your federal tax dollars are being used to prepare for the zombie apocalypse: http://www.prisonplanet.com/your-federal-tax-dollars-are-being-used-to-prepare-for-the-zombie-apocalypse.html

[14] U.S. military forces train for zombie apocalypse: http://www.prisonplanet.com/u-s-military-forces-train-for-zombie-apocalypse.html

[15] CDC warns Americans to prepare for zombie apocalypse (really): http://www.prisonplanet.com/cdc-warns-americans-to-prepare-for-zombie-apocalypse-really.html

[16] FEMA Censors Information About Bizarre ‘Zombie UFO Crash’ Exercise: http://www.prisonplanet.com/fema-censors-information-about-bizarre-zombie-ufo-crash-exercise.html

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