The White House and U.S. National Institute of Standards and Technology (NIST) are urging Americans to return to the stone age for their own safety.
“After discovering that ‘thermal expansion’ of steel from a low-temperature fire led to the collapse of World Trade Center building 7,” said NIST spokesperson Noh Wei, “we started realizing that other metal objects might also be at risk”.
So NIST scientists tested other metallic objects using state-of-the-art computer models. The models predicted that every oven and barbeque in the country could disintegrate at any time, leading to a progressive collapse of entire houses.
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“We also determined that car engines, airplane engines, and boat engines could all suddenly fail due to thermal expansion,” said Wei. “Indeed, we soon realized that almost all industrial processes could lead to catastrophic failure, other than, perhaps, those used in freezers.”
White House spokesman Phil Johnson agreed, saying
August 24th, 2008 at 11:19 am
WTF is this for REal
August 24th, 2008 at 11:28 am
Seriously these guys provide me the best laughs ever.. the amount of hypocrisy, lies and insanity going in the US and Western Europe at the moment has reached a level never seen in history.
I lie too but not at this level and I think I wouldn’t be capable of lying and deceiving people like this.
Next they will tell us moon is made of cheese and that the water is high inflamatory and no good for the skin.
August 24th, 2008 at 11:32 am
Yeah, we’ve been working with metals for thousands of years… we’ve only gotten better at it. If this article is actually what these people think, then they are retarded… people are going to think it’s a joke.
Wait,it IS a joke.
August 24th, 2008 at 11:33 am
Thermal Expansion is a greater threat to Civilization than Global Warming.
August 24th, 2008 at 11:49 am
Greg, I read you long note the other day…I was worth every second of my time. Impeachment is not good enough for these guys.
Now for the topic:
————————————————————–
OHhhhh ohhhhh, the front of my pants just burst into flames…IT’S MY ZIPPER!!!!!!!! IT’s true!!!!
August 24th, 2008 at 12:02 pm
Wait global warming will heat the earth, metal comes from the ground, WERE ALL GONNA EXPLODE! I wanna see some iron kidds bread explode
August 24th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
Dear People of the world,
This is the Prime Minister of Great Britain with an important safety message for you. This may come as some suprise but our scientists have discovered that the heat generated in “bashing one out” (spanking the monkey) can lead to thermal expansion. Indeed just this morning I was bashing one out over my favourite picture of Tony Blair when thermal expansion happened causing the internal parts of my binky to thermally expand, subsequently causing internal meltdown which resulted in a sticky mess. This is what my mother warned me about when she taught me how to bash one out as a wee boy. From now on I will be insisting that my wife Sarah has a handful of ice cubes when instigating ladies and gentlemen. Be warned people of the world…..we know what is good for you.
Your loving leader
Gordon Brown
August 24th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
It’s the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.
August 24th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
I tell ya folks, the mass media over here in Europe doesn’t even talk about the Nist report or building 7 at all!
August 24th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
and tomorrow 500 millions of people will died of urinated systems failures from an orgasmic phenomenon consequences.
This would be a good one to exterminate 500 millions in just a day.
Thank you NIST yours COMANDERS ARE the Three Stooges
August 24th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
Is this f*cking serious?
No, really.
Is it?
August 24th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2007/mar/13/israel
Stupid fucking Zionists. They really think we are all stupid however not all of us take it up the ass! See Above story, its hilarious.
August 24th, 2008 at 2:18 pm
This should have been broadcast over the radio by Orsen Wells.
Imagine the panic…….. The widespread panic and mayhem of everyone running away from the air terminals, office buildings, cars and busses, shopping malls and homes…….. OHHHHH MYYYYYYY!
Pray for an ice age or were all doooooooooomed!
These fucking jerkoffs should be shot for pushing this bullshit! And the asshole PhD’s that signed off on it need their diploma’s burned!
August 24th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
“What we do in life , echoes in eternity” so said Russell Crow in Gladiator.
The only amusing part of the NIST also known as ” The National Incompetence of Stupid Tards” is that this report is now not only a matter of record, IT IS NOW A PIECE OF HISTORY! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
The joke is on them folks even though we will probably never hear the truth in our lifetimes. Remember that when Kennedy was MURDERED by LBJ and the JEWS, the official information that the Warren Commission utilized to come the “magic bullet theory” was sealed for 75 years by a supreme court justice! That guarantees that anybody that WAS INVOLVED AND GUILTY AS HELL, would be long dead dare anybody know the truth.
Fuck these assholes. Until our species blows itself to hell these motherfuckers will always be know as; “the cunts that created the thermal expansion theory” that dropped building #7. HA!
August 24th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
If steel melted in the presence of ignited Kerosene….jet engines would not work!
They would melt through “thermal expansion”….hahahahahahah.
You could’nt make it up.
James
August 24th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
The collapse was caused by an inversion layer over swamp gas reflecting off Venus causing mass hysteria of the witnesses who were seeing a weather balloon not a building collapsing.. There solved that…!
August 24th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
ahahahahahaha that’s fuckin hilarious! what kind of idiot would believe this!?
August 24th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
Hmm-what do you think this will mean for the self-storage business? According to the report,the units could heat up and start popping like popcorn.And the explosion would turn people’s shit into flying missiles—Hey! think it could affect tin-foil hats?
August 24th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
This isn’t even funny. But millions and millions will believe this as gospel. I’ve been saying for the last two years that all steel structures in the world are at risk by fire, according to these reports, therefore, why haven’t any emergency repair or retrofitting taken place to protect the populations of the planet? Well, I finally got my wish, sort of. But it is in the form of, “The Incredible Melting Planet.”
After doing some checking, it appears that stone actually has a lower melting point than industrial steel.
So that means, eventually, an even unsafer material such as stone will be used in construction or that FIRE will be outlawed!!! After all, such a dangerous weapon cannot be used by any untrained and unlicensed person.
Osama bin Flintstone meet Barney Rubble.
The goal of Organized Global Evil Inc., is to give man his liberty. How? By leveling all forms of govt., authority, private property, church, family, you name it. YOU WILL BE FREE WHEN YOU ARE LIVING IN A CAVE OR SWINGING FROM A TREE. NOW, TARZAN, DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE RIGHTS WE HAVE GIVEN YOU? GOOD! Now, go be a good little product of evolution and go back to your cave while we, The Enlightened, live like gods.
Freedom is Slavery.
Some animals are more equal than others.
The rules are whatever we say they are.
August 24th, 2008 at 4:08 pm
I don’t know if this is serious or not,but it gets funnier every time I read it–do you think the families of the people involved will ever live down the shame?
August 24th, 2008 at 4:16 pm
We “are” living in the stone age. We have a neandathal for a president his name is George W Bush.
August 24th, 2008 at 4:57 pm
rypat
August 24,2008
“ahahahahahaha that’s fuckin hilarious! what kind of idiot would believe this!?”
Unfortunetely, a very large majority of sleeping, gullible, kool-aid drinking Americans will believe this.
August 24th, 2008 at 5:04 pm
It is so sad that so many people walk around in a cloud of i dont care as long as it does not effect me they can do whatever they want. I have talked until i am blue in the face to people regarding these things that are happening under our noses. I work for a doctor who as we know has gone to college and is beyond smart had the nerve to tell me that i am not an american because i question these things. I showed him the beginning of 911 truth rising where they talk about a good american and a good patriot is someone who asks questions and does not let bad things happen to people. That is a true american that we are people who when others are being treated badly we stop that treatment. I told him someone who ignores all of these things and lets them happen is not an american. Someone who would just knowingly stick their head in the sand and watch people die and not do anything about it. All i can do now is sit here and shake my head and wonder why people can just sit and watch all of these things and not care. What has happened to the true patriots?? The ones who said DO NOT TREAD ON ME!! You know when i talk to these people and they get angry with me. They say oh our government would never kill innocent people for war. They said nothing like genocide would ever happen. It is too crazy. I asked them what about Hitler?? He got away with it for a long time. And you know what? The people all said they had no idea what was going on at the camps where smoke and ash and the smell of death was in the air. It is just like now if i ignore it and it does not effect me it will go away. Please GOD let people WAKE UP!! If we do not wake up we are all doomed!!
August 24th, 2008 at 5:20 pm
I assume this is a joke and are not real quotes from NIST or White House officials.
Assuming it is a joke – it is pretty funny. Were it real, I think I would be crying.
August 24th, 2008 at 5:27 pm
Yea, Good joke guys. How ever I think Many people would enjoy stepping back to a simpler time. No yelling at the kids for playing with their x-box’s for days on end. No need to fill up that feul guzzeling SUV. No more drug laws which sole purpose’s are to criminalise otherwise law abbiding people and generate obscene revenues for statemongers. Along with that no more corrupted policing agencies or other political entities. No more hunting or fishing regulations or pesky licencing agencys. (Realistically this would not be an issue because most people are to innept to survive in such an environment so over hunting or fishing could not occure). Which brings me to an interesting side effect, “Tresspassers will be beaten unconcious and fed to the dogs” signs will have real meaning. Don’t forget that rocks also make good pets, They arn’t as needy as flowers when placed in a garden, And I hear they make some pretty good music some times when you arrange them in a band….
Overall a good thing I think.
August 24th, 2008 at 5:52 pm
Yo; Isaac
Isaac_Newton_g=9.8m/s2…
August 24,2008 and tomorrow 500 millions of people will died of urinated systems failures from an orgasmic phenomenon consequences.
This would be a good one to exterminate 500 millions in just a day.
Thank you NIST yours COMANDERS ARE the Three Stooges
Grammer baby. Grammer.
Mine may not be perfect however I at least put forth some effort to make it ledgable.
You see people this is what happens when you spend fifty percent of your time playing with your x-box.
Forty percent of your time playing with yourself.
Eight percent of your time remanicing about your day.
One and nine tenths of your time text messaging your friends about your boring life.
And a full one tenth of your time in some feable attempt at responding to articals while stoned off your ass.
August 24th, 2008 at 6:05 pm
For jeff;
It’s not quite the same but I’ll Try.
Ne ne, Ne noo, Ne ne, Ne noo, Ne ne, Ne noo.
I’m obviously not going to make it on American Idol.
August 24th, 2008 at 6:08 pm
HAHAHAHAHA! That was funny!!! But wait a minute!! I can not go to work anymore if it’s a sunny day cuz the brige i pass on everyday in my car is all made of STEEL!!! I wonder what the STEEL compagnies thinks about the NIST report??? They really think peoples are that stupid!
August 24th, 2008 at 6:31 pm
Bush is a fucking monkey
the man looks like a fucking ape, fucking piece of shit chimp.
August 24th, 2008 at 8:00 pm
This article sounds too stupid to reply to.Why don’t they tell the people to stop eating since eating causes a food shortage.Or tell them not to heat the house because it causes a depletion of our energy supply.we should walk around the house with three sweaters and a hat with ear flappers on.With no need for the necessities of life there be no need to go to work.we all will pitch tents and live off nature.then there be no need for education because if you going to be a caveman why do you need to have smarts.I guess this way of thinking comes about when you have Nazi scum running the country.But I am sure this is just a joke I hope.
August 24th, 2008 at 8:15 pm
Once again SATIRE goes over the heads of Americans…!
August 24th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
This is the a new low for these stupid moronic hypocrites. Oh my thermal expansion oh no everything will fall what stupidity. They cant explain WTC 7 collapse so they come up with something so stupid and idiotic it sounds like a mental patient blabing about the voices and the little green men. i really hope for our sake Americans are not so dumbed down that they believe this shat. God help us. Satan is a liar.
August 24th, 2008 at 9:28 pm
numerology 7………………….actually it’s FOUR.
August 24th, 2008 at 9:32 pm
I wear a tin hat to work, do you think I’m OK?
August 24th, 2008 at 9:46 pm
hmmmmmm
August 24th, 2008 at 10:03 pm
ahh…com’ on…the “spokesperson’s” name is NOH WEI (no way)??? this has gotta be a joke.
August 24th, 2008 at 10:54 pm
This is ridiculous!
August 24th, 2008 at 11:31 pm
There’s iron in my blood, and my body temp. is almost 100 degrees,am i at risk of vaporizing?
August 24th, 2008 at 11:59 pm
Pam, nice piece and you are correct…the doctor pays his taxes to kill kids…over 600,000 in Iraq alone, so what’s he to say? I know? These ‘patriots’ are not, as Teddy Roosevelt said, “a person who says my country, right or wrong, is a traitor.” Pam, we are doomed…sorry kid, lemmings rush to their own destruction…do you see any diffrence with the human lemming? They refuse to do their own thinking and it is thinking which helps people avoid the pit falls of life…is it any wonder the first religion asks of you is to stop thinking. Why?
August 25th, 2008 at 12:05 am
Ya and im sure they can help in assisting us back to the stone age too!Watch david icke-the big picture its worth it
August 25th, 2008 at 1:54 am
My God…They are utterly psychotic. Insane asylums for whomever wrote that drivel. That’s not science, it’s insanity.
August 25th, 2008 at 2:14 am
It is a joke guys. Not a serious piece. Although it does make it’s point through satire…
August 25th, 2008 at 2:18 am
I seriouslt hope that this article is an attempt at irony/sarcasm; how could any government official think that people would actually swallow this crap?
August 25th, 2008 at 2:56 am
and when it snows dont let it touch you or it will freeze you instantly and you appendages will just start falling off while kermit and elmo play cards in the nice rock they carved out as a house and big bird guards them with fire protecting them …..lol
August 25th, 2008 at 4:48 am
OH MY LOARD, all theses years I have spent concerned about poisons in my water where a waste of time when I really should have been looking at metal fatigue… On a more serious note, I was grilling some hot dogs yesterday and my grill fell apart and collapsed on my Weiner so now I am unable to eat for today.
August 25th, 2008 at 5:33 am
The only thermal expansion I see, is the hot air being blown around by damn near all involved.
August 25th, 2008 at 6:41 am
The truely scary thing is that many readers do not recognize that this article is extreme sarcasm which illustrates the absolute insanity of the empty mindless spectres who push the ridiculous lies of the 911 commission. Come on people, ease up on the pot and beer, maybe think a little more, practice concentration or meditation.
August 25th, 2008 at 9:30 am
Fuck the USA Government! They are going to lose….
August 25th, 2008 at 10:28 am
We will become Mole People…
August 25th, 2008 at 10:30 am
lol excellent satire, this outlines and underscores the issues we face.
I myself have stopped eating or drinking anything hot for fear i might suffer thermal expansion, and explode, due to drinking hot coffee. LOL
August 25th, 2008 at 11:28 am
I just purchase several sheets of corrugated tin roofing, to put on the patio roof that I’m building. It looks like I’m going to either have to refund the tin roofing or find some sucker to buy them off me. God knows I don’t want my brain to swell up, due to thermal expansion…I wouldn’t want my house to collapse onto its own footprint either !
August 25th, 2008 at 11:54 am
Oh, that thermal expansion…
I swear, it will get you every single time…
Thermal expansion is probably the reason why so many people fear to use their brains to think with. They’re afraid that the electrons racing around in their skulls will cause friction, and friction causes heat, and then their heads will explode from thermal expansion!
Just like in the movie Scanners!
August 25th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
The nails holding my house together are clearly on he verge of catastrophic failure, having weathered several warm Summer months. I’m moving my family out to the lawn where we will build a hut out of sticks and leaves (which, hopefully, won’t fail due to thermal expansion)!
dennis gaudet Reply:
February 13th, 2009 at 3:19 pm
lmao
August 25th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
how they talk such obvious bullshit and expect people to believe it takes more front than brighton beach.maybe they really do think people have become the idiocracy they crave and folk really are now in fear and terror of their shower faucet that could become critical and fail at any time along with all other mystical ungoverned by physics mystical metals,those clever alchemists.anyhow must go i’ve got a nice cave painting of a mammoth id like to get finished tonight,ug.
August 25th, 2008 at 4:40 pm
Did Planes Really Crash Into the WTC Towers on 911?
Contrary to NIST & the US Government, there is overwhelming evidence to conclude that the planes seen on TV were the result of SFX special effects (TV fakery).
Many try to suppress this obvious fact, but to exclude other theories out of hand w/o examination is not only disingenuous, it’s simply denial (a defence mechanism) and only results in a misinformed, skewed opinion.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0XrU70Lc-U
There were no planes entering the WTC Towers on 911. Perhaps all the related films about 911 produced before and since were made to condition the public into acceptance of the official “planes” fantasy. Any discussion of planes on 911, passengers, hijackers, etc. all continue to help keep the fantasy alive.
Believing the government’s fairytale of planes colliding with the Towers is the main problem w/ fully understanding 911. The media was broadcasting fake, manipulated images of planes. Superimposing a plane on 911 was done w/ Wescam technology; it provided a single “live” feed from which all the TV networks broadcast. Other videos & images started to appear in the days, weeks & months following 911. All of them have anomalies & impossibilities which can only be explained by excluding planes.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=xpUKwpwSRwc
Real planes would have been a potential liability for the perps on 911. It was easier to control the outcome of the event with much less risk by using the media to broadcast fake imagery. Real jets might miss their targets, get shot down, suffer pilot or computer errors, destroy or prematurely detonate any explosives, passengers could have overtaken the hijackers, and/or the plane might not inflict enough perceived damage to make a collapse believable.
A single fact which cannot be refuted is that a hollow aluminum plane (especially fragile wings) cannot slice through steel beams and concrete without any damage to the plane. News footage showing an airliner gliding into a Tower without any resistance is a cartoon. Aluminum planes are not built for impact and crumple immediately upon contact with solid objects; even a small bird can rip through a jet’s wing.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=MCVwuf_AMFs
Furthermore, a large speeding jet’s vortex trails behind it creating a highly active atmosphere which follows in its path. Had a real plane impacted a WTC Tower, real film footage would have recorded the airliner’s vortex interacting with and violently dissipating the smoke from the alleged crash and the adjacent North Tower. No vortex literally means no planes on 911 (TV fakery).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xlj1mVD2-HM
During the South Tower “impact”, fake TV footage shows a WTC Tower sealing itself around the plane during the alleged penetration. Still another too incredible to believe anomaly is the width of the plane’s purported gash didn’t match the width of a Boeing 757’s wing span. Another widely publicized video shot by Scott Myers shows the forward fuselage of the “jet” exiting the South Tower, though other shots later reveal no exit hole.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=NCLL6h6-vvc
To consider the media footage showing a plane slicing thru steel and concrete as reality is ludicrous. There were no planes; only spoofed images, manipulated witnesses and falsified evidence. America please wake up; the media was a complicit partner that was in on the crime from the beginning. In fact, the TV psyop 911 couldn’t have been pulled off without the mass media’s assistance.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=eoxaU16MntM
Actually “no planes on 911″ is the only explanation that makes any sense. There are far too many disturbing questions left unanswered which only TV fakery can address.
Besides all the other impossibilities mentioned, why are there several “hijackers” still alive; some are even suing the US government to recover their reputation and stolen identity.
Why have so many of the purported plane “victims” not been listed in the Social Security Death Index? …and their families not claimed their death benefits.
Why are there missing passenger lists and zero so-called Middle Eastern hijacker names on the flight manifest?
Why in the entire history of aviation has a plane never disappeared from a crash – yet on 911, four of them did in a single day? All plane parts are numbered; not one plane part from 911 has been identified by its number.
How could supposedly inexperienced “pilots” who couldn’t even fly a Cessna…
* threaten & subdue everyone on board a large airliner
* break into the locked cockpits w/ their hands
* kill all the ex-military pilots and copilots
…then navigate a large Boeing jetliner above the clouds all over several states without airport tower assistance, with nav systems & radios turned off, and fly with pinpoint accuracy into a building that they couldn’t even see?
It’s common knowledge amongst pilots that a Boeing 757 cannot fly at 500+ MPH at sea level – the air is too thick. That’s an airliner’s cruising speed attained at high 30,000+ ft. altitudes.
You can call Boeing; even they admit that – and they have been recorded in phone conversations recently saying so.
When an airliner is close to the ground it’s either taking off or landing. If forced to throttle to cruising speed at low altitude, it would break apart in mid-air.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=x2upl977dsY
Exposing “no planes on 911″ is probably the most important story to people beyond chemtrails, depleted uranium poisoning and nanotech genocide.
Americans are TV hypnotized, drugged up, dumbed down and so utterly dependent that in general they are incapable of critical thought and are disinterested in discovering how the media is adversely affecting their lives.
No planes on 911 and deception by the media is the Holy Grail of 911. It marks the beginning of an Orwellian double-speak mind-set which is now accepted as normal by the populace.
No-planes on 911 is highly important as it exposes the real perps behind this mass murder and offers justice to the thousands of people killed that day.
Without the covert deception by the media in collusion with the enemy in control of America’s military intelligence, 911 could not have happened.
The media was directly involved in 911 and together with a criminal government has helped diminish Americans’ freedoms and launch unending wars against innocent nations.
Don’t even consider making another comment on 911 till you have watched the “September Clues” video series:
http://www.livevideo.com/video.....part1.aspx
With so much evidence pointing to collusion between the military industrial complex, the US government and especially the media, very few have sought relief in the court systems, or via conventional mass media. Morgan Reynolds has filed numerous suits in federal court to no avail. His latest attempt and subsequent appeal were both summarily squashed before having even been properly heard. You can read the details on his website.
http://nomoregames.net/index.php?page=911
If one seeks only that evidence which fits the official explanation, then that is what you will find. That’s not science, it’s not objective thinking, it’s not even good common sense.
It is impossible in the real world for a plane to behave in such manner as per the official account. So long as you continue to deny that one simple concept you will be forever lost in endless pursuit of an answer that will never come.
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/.....ng_videos/
http://www.brasschecktv.com/page/108.html
# # #
August 25th, 2008 at 4:49 pm
I have a feed running at convictbushcheney.com in the active forums list under “Nist rewrites the laws of physics…….I’ll be taking some questions now….. Cut the mic damn it!!”
They are not running this yet. Let’s keep it at the top of the list!!
August 25th, 2008 at 5:58 pm
It is amazing that those briliantly minded “scientists” at NIST FINALLY figured out what REALLY happened. Thermal Expansion. WOW! I think their “state of the art” computers might just need an update – like up to 2008 REALITY check. Do they really think we are that stupid? My God, I’ll have to go back to brushing my teeth with an old fashioned tooth brush for fear of the Oral B exploding in my mouth with so much friction in that tiny motor. Thank God we have the government to tell us what and how to think. I was getting worried I might have life all wrong.
August 25th, 2008 at 6:32 pm
Yeah satire people, even the stoner picked up on that!
August 25th, 2008 at 6:44 pm
Easy
thank you for your research and may you have this footage below when another specialist did calculated the right moment of closing image on the building of south tower I did see this video o you tube but just once this specific video shows us that was impossible the airplane never been see from that camera… he calculated and it was 19 times distance back from the south tower… please if you know where this video is sent it for us
thanks again
http://www.questionsquestions......ondhit.mov
August 25th, 2008 at 10:19 pm
That’s pretty funny.
September 7th, 2008 at 2:33 am
Come on people, read the damn thing!Did you check the name of the ‘official spokesperson’?A certain person called Noh Wei.Switch on Peeps.it is bloody funny though, in the light of all the real facts this is a true bit of comic relief.lol.x
February 13th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
of course they had to say this its the only way to explain what happened to building 7 and the other two.this weeks fire proves steel buildings dont fall from just fire. when are we as a people gonna say enough bullshit and remove the corrupt goverment that has taken over.