Louder With Crowder
January 4, 2017
Leftists, are you ever stuck in one of those horrible situations where a white male has the audacity to, you know, exist? The nerve. Do you struggle with how to subtly inform him that he is lower than pond scum? Because of his penis. Well, thanks to hipsters in Brooklyn, now there’s a novel solution for you…privilege cards.
In case you’re looking to put the clampdown on those who constantly say stuff that reveals their privileged positions, a Brooklyn website has the answer for you.
Yup, Casa Girl sells the “direct yet non-aggressive” business cards — in packs of 10 for $5 — so you can “check everyone in your life.”
So let’s say someone around you makes a “comment that others cannot agree or relate to” due to that person’s “privilege” — presto! Just hand the offending party the card.
The front of the card reads, “Uh oh! Your privilege is showing.” The back explains why you gave the card to the privileged person. And the culprit can read a literal checklist of options that apply, such as “White” and “Christian” and “Male” and “Heterosexual” and “Citizen.”
If at anytime you thought handing out “privilege” cards was a good idea, I have some bad news for you: you’re a rude, hateful, intolerant, insufferable, probably fat and slobbish self-loathing shebeast with terrible hair. Please go outside and find where you parked your car. Ten bucks says it’s not between the lines. Oh, sorry. I guess I shouldn’t have said that. Is there a check box for “parking” privilege? Or should I just take a photo of your car and shame you on the internet? Don’t think I’ve not been tempted.
Sorry, tangent. But if someone has cards for “You suck at parking,” please send me the link.
Okay, so I know liberals have a tough time with reality, but too bad. There are plenty of times in life when one finds themselves in the company of those they do not like, or of those who say things one might find displeasing. The adult way to handle it is either:
a) have a civil conversation which might include a disagreement or
b) ignore them and carry on with your fabulous life.
But a progressive is, at heart, an insufferable pustule who must make his intolerant stink known. It’s in his (or her) nature. To the detriment of all. Now they’re handing out cards to streamline their rudeness. The cards may as well read: “I’m an a-hole and I’m not sorry.” Ironically used to tell you, the card-receiver, that somehow you’re in the wrong. Uh huh. A real mystery why Democrats lost the last election.
So leftists, the next time a rich, not-gay, Jesus-loving white boy with money in his pocket and two working legs decides to show his privileged posterior in public, slip him one of these cards. Just don’t be surprised if he returns the favor with a bit of sign language. Most likely originating from his middle digit. #HandPrivilege
This article was posted: Wednesday, January 4, 2017 at 6:31 am