Jan 21, 2013
Holy cow, the gun grabbers were right! You actually CAN buy full-auto guns online! Imagine my absolute horror when I discovered that you can purchase a full-auto, high-capacity, rapid-fire assault weapon at Amazon.com for under a hundred dollars without even going through a background check!
This gun, shown in an actual photo below, features:
• A defensive “blast shield”
• Three high-capacity 18-round magazines
• A rapid fire rate of 3 rounds per second
• Configurable support for “attack mode”
New York public school lockdown
The gun is apparently made by a military weapons manufacturer called “Nerf.” I’m not familiar with Nerf, but Nerf guns are extremely dangerous to society, according to New York school officials. Last week, they thrust one of their schools into a full lockdown over a lime green Nerf gun, reports Fox NY.
As Fox News continues:
A 911 caller told Nassau County Police she saw a suspicious teen at about 7:38 a.m. Tuesday wearing a black jacket and carrying a black backpack at Elmont Memorial high School in Elmont. The caller said he was also carrying a lime green gun. A SWAT team searched the school room by room. Parents were allowed to pick up their children early Tuesday afternoon. They eventually found the toy lime green and yellow lever action Nerf gun in a student locker.
Here is an actual image of a murder weapon manufactured by “Nerf:”
It’s scary! We should ban it!
No wonder people were freaked out… this is a full-auto gun!
I think New York school officials and SWAT team professional were absolutely right to lock down the school, inconvenience hundreds of parents, and conduct a sweeping SWAT raid of the school as if it were the headquarters of Al-Qaeda.
We can’t be too careful these days! Nerf weapons could be used to hijack and airplane or even overthrow the government, you just never know. After all, the high-capacity magazines (18 rounds each) can distract security guards or even take out an eye! When it comes to national security, you simply can’t go too far in locking down schools in the search for weapons. If just one child can be saved by banning all Nerf weapons, don’t we have an obligation to try?
Unbelievably, this powerful Nerf murder weapon is available for sale right now at Amazon.com — without even a background check! Here’s the link:
Catch your breath when you read this, but this Nerf murder weapon is being marketed for eight year olds! See! This is what happens when gun culture takes over America, we are turning our children into mass murderers who are walking right into schools armed with Nerf! I warned you this apocalypse was coming OMG OMG OMG!
The marketing page for this Nerf assault rifle describes the weapon as:
• The ultimate full auto clip system blaster…
• Weighing nearly 5 pounds… [it] has the heft of a genuine article…
• Aspiring vigilantes aged eight years and up will be totally equipped to fight bad guys…
• The high-capacity Stampede even includes a blast shield to deflect incoming “fire…”
• When the battle heats up, the Stampede’s blast shield attaches quickly to fend off return “fire…”
HOW CAN AMERICA’S SCHOOLS BE SAFE WHEN FULL-AUTO NERF ASSAULT RIFLES ARE SOLD ON AMAZON.COM? What has America come to! We need to pass new “Nerf control” legislation!
Join me in demanding we pass “Nerf control” legislation
In accordance with New York Mayor Cuomo and his recent legislation, I hereby demand that we pass courageous, progressive new laws that reduce the risk of injury to children by limiting access Nerf assault weapons.
After all, military-style weapons belong in the hands of soldiers, not in the hands of eight-year-olds.
Here are my recommendations:
• Mandate that all Nerf gun magazines be reduced to only 7 Nerf bullets. Sure, you can own a higher-capacity Nerf magazine, but if you load more than 7 Nerf bullets, you will be considered a criminal by the state.
• We must REGISTER all Nerf gun owners immediately, even if they are only 8 years old. It’s never too early to start teaching children how to remain obedient to a police state.
• Children who wish to own full-auto Nerf guns must undergo extensive background checks during which children can be banned from possessing or purchasing Nerf guns if they have ever engaged in behavior violations such as making fart sounds, writing on the walls with magic markers, or stealing cookies from the cookie jar.
• All children must be fingerprinted, photographed and entered into a government database so that if Nerf guns are banned, government officials will know where to confiscate them.
Call the White House today and demand that President Obama issue more executive orders on Nerf control. After all, gun control is not complete until it includes Nerf control!
This article was posted: Monday, January 21, 2013 at 6:31 am