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TSA In Your X-Box

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November 12, 2013

The Kinect is one of the most amazing pieces of consumer hardware on the planet. It can recognize the human anatomy with incredible logic and accuracy. And when Microsoft’s new Xbox One comes out next month, every unit will be packaged with an improved Kinect, capable of 1080p Skype video and improved 3-D fidelity that, using an IR camera, can even make out your body in the dark. With extreme specificity.

In fact, while I’d intended to post the above tech demo of the improved Kinect from Microsoft Research, I noticed, alongside the intricacies of a hoodie and jeans–and there’s no graceful way to put this–a dong. The Kinect hardware/software is now so effective at deciphering the bumps and folds of clothing that it can pinpoint a man’s package down to its pant leg, carving out the distinctive folds in our trousers that society, backed by a bit of shadowy denim, has become remarkable at ignoring.

As soon as I made the observation, it brought me back to a moment I must have repressed during the Xbox One announcement at Microsoft’s campus in Redmond. Testing the new Kinect in a cozy room, I, amongst a small handful of journalists and engineers who I didn’t know, caught a glance at my own man lump snake python on the screen. I felt the fear of every ninth-grade boy called up to the chalkboard.

TSA In Your X Box 3020934 inline 750 dong

Truthfully, a small percentage of Xbox owners may ever have such an experience. This topographical view is essentially a debug mode (I believe, accessible to gamers, but far from standard), and most Kinect experiences will likely render you as a bubbly asexual cartoon or a character with stock anatomy, smoothing over everything from hoodie strings to the overzealous nipples.

But as everyday technologies get better at seeing us naked, it does call to question: Should developers start thinking about censoring their imaging APIs? Should a company like Microsoft algorithmically smooth over chests, rears, and crotches at the core layers of their technology to protect a user’s chastity in the uncanny valley of nudity? Because while the Kinect isn’t nearly as anatomically omniscient as the TSA’s controversial millimeter wave scanners and Backscatter X-ray machines, it’s still processing our anatomy at a level more acute than the human eye, and it’s only going to get better.

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This article was posted: Tuesday, November 12, 2013 at 11:13 am





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