March 1, 2013
Over the course of many months I have had the privilege of coaching many Natural News readers who take my online personal development courses. If there has been one concern many have in common, it is fear for the future of humanity.
Some actually live in a state of mental and emotional paralysis, wondering what is the point of making plans for the future or working on themselves if we are all going to hell in a hand basket under a new world order.
I usually ask one question to begin to sort it out. Here it is: Are you prepared?
The answer to this question determines the course of action to follow. If the answer is “no, I am not prepared” then I usually ask if you really believe we are at risk for such calamities. If so, then you have reason to be afraid. You believe something is going to happen for which you are not preparing. It makes sense. Time to get prepared. Start by educating yourself and get moving with a plan, little by little.
I have found – without exception – that those who feel they are prepared for anything are the least worried. They look forward with much greater confidence, even though there is still cause for concern. Being prepared allows them to focus on their day-to-day life with no interruptions, which is how things should be.
There are two scenarios left
1. What if you are prepared, but still live in fear?
2. What if you don’t really believe anything severe will happen, but still chronically worry?
In both of these scenarios, you are milking your fear. If you are prepared, then you are doing all you can. There is not a lot else you can do but go about your life and continue to get ready. Indulging yourself in more fear and self-paralysis is just that – emotional indulgence.
Likewise, if you honestly think there is nothing to worry about, yet still worry, then you are emotionally milking the situation, indulging in worry that is totally unnecessary, according to you. Now, the question is not how to prepare, but how to stop indulging your emotions.
A handy tool to use with most chronic, negative emotions
Whether dealing with fear, discouragement, depression, jealousy, overwhelm or anger, the protocol is the same. Take out your old school legal pad and pen, then get real clear about your emotions, create a plan, act on the plan doing the very best you can. Let’s look at some scenarios:
Anger – get super clear about the anger. At whom are you angry? What for, specifically? How can you maturely express the anger, make yourself understood and work out differences, if possible? Beyond this, you may be indulging yourself.
Fear – what are you afraid of, specifically? What can you do to prepare yourself for that which you fear? Make a list to identify all you can do. Whom can you rely on for support? Are you willing to put forth your best effort?
Overwhelm – make a list of everything that overwhelms you. Prioritize tasks. Create a plan of action. Get moving, one step at a time.
Depression – depression can be characterized as “the perception of a future in which you do not want to participate.” What do you want in your future? Make a list. Create a plan.
What if you approach out-of-control emotions in this way and it is not enough?
I won’t suggest that the above tools are the end-all-be-all of emotional management. The point is, if you use reasonable skills and tools to manage your emotions and they do not work, then you may have deeper attachments to unresolved, negative emotions.
Psychotherapist Peter Michaelson said the following about such attachments at his blog, Why We Suffer.
Unresolved negative emotions are simply determined to be experienced, and our challenge is to liberate ourselves from these attachments. Through our intelligence we can achieve inner freedom when we expose the dynamics of our psyche.
What are some examples of unresolved negative emotions to which we are attached? We want love but, at some deeper level, we’re expecting rejection. We want to feel strong, but we are identified with ourselves through weakness. We want to get rewards and benefits from life, but unconsciously we’re expecting to be refused or deprived. We’re compelled to continue experiencing in a painful way, often on a daily basis, the negative emotions that arise from these unresolved conflicts.
In other words, regardless of what is happening in the world, it is possible, due to unresolved inner conflicts, to compulsively experience a large array of negative emotions. The emotions themselves are not related to real events in today’s world, but unresolved issues from your past. So, regardless of how much action you take today, the emotion is still determined to be experienced. In other words, you will likely indulge your unresolved, fear, resentment, pain, jealousy, emptiness and so forth, until you resolve the underlying cause.
In this scenario, there is good news and bad news. The good news: your emotional angst is not about the present or future, especially if you are clear and engaged in doing all you can. The bad news: you have unresolved conflicts from your past that you may not understand.
It’s time to educate yourself about emotional attachments. Peter Michaelson’s books are a great place to start.
Your life, your happiness – don’t let anyone take it away
Finally, given the reality of those in the world that plan to take away your freedom, do you really want to give away more power by making yourself an emotional slave to them? You have total capacity for happiness in the world today, as it is. It is entirely within your reach to be happy, prepared for the worst, aware of the evil in the world, and content with your life as it is.
About the author:
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This article was posted: Friday, March 1, 2013 at 6:47 am