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All Your Hot Takes Comparing Bill Cosby to Brett Kavanaugh Suck, Stop It

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Louder With Crowder
Sept 26, 2018

We may be reaching Kavanaugh accuser fatigue. We’re likely past it, to be honest. But today, with Cosby being sentenced for being a rapey rapist, the left’s dimmest bulbs raced to Twitter to squeeze out their hottest takes. I just couldn’t pass the chance to mock them. Call it a personal failing.

Why does gender get a spectrum but sexual misconduct doesn’t? Let’s fix it. On one end of the “sexual misconduct” spectrum is a guy or girl who says something creepy. Use your imagination. On the other end is violent rape. A guy who says “nice tits” shouldn’t have the same punishment as a guy who forcibly inserts his dick into a non-consenting woman’s vagina.

So we’re clear.

Brett Kavanaugh may not even be on the spectrum, as the witness to his alleged misconduct is as reliable as a deaf, dumb and blind meteorologist. Bill Cosby is definitely on the spectrum. Roger Ailes is dead, Satan is probably having his merry way with him. Harvey Weinstein is making his own way through the legal system. Matt Lauer is a creep and I’m not sure what’s happening there. Roy Moore lost the election, and may have his life ruined, too soon to tell. Catholic priests are being protected by other higher up evil perverts as well as a complicit media because Pope Francis hearts climate change dogma. As for the assortment of other perverts, it’s not a crime to be a creep unless acted upon with physical or emotional attacks. To my knowledge.

Remember that spectrum, dumbass Swan.

Okay, let’s skip the part where we’re astonished someone this stupid made it to adulthood. Most of us drive, we’ve all encountered numbskulls like this in our lives. But comparing Cosby, who was proven in a court of law to have drugged and raped women, isn’t even comparable to Brett Kavanaugh. Who’s been accused by a very unreliable woman, of getting handsy at a drunken party. Of which no one remembers ever attending. Got it? Cosby is a convicted rapist. Brett Kavanaugh is a convicted nothing. One of these things is not like the other. Try not to get distracted by shiny hashtags, sweetie pie.

For rape. For drugging women. For raping them.

Kavanaugh is accused of being at a party drunk. A party no one actually remembers. Also that other thing that Yale student is saying. But only after she, according to The New Yorker, called other people who may have been there asking if they remember what she didn’t quite remember.

The above sentences are confusing on purpose. It’s how I feel when reading The New Yorker account of something which maybe didn’t actually happen.

Here, let’s make it even simpler:

Cosby= convicted rapist.

Kavanaugh=I don’t remember what he did last summer of 35ish years ago, do you?

Okay let’s try this once more with feeling. Cosby is a convicted rapist found guilty by a court of law. With a jury and everything. It was like an episode of Law and Order but #reallife. Trump said women would allow him to grab them by the pussy. Disgusting, yes. A proud moment in American politics? No. Consent implied? Sadly, yes.

Kavanaugh doesn’t even have witnesses who can attest to him even being a pervert.

Maybe change your mental diet. Then read the explanations above. Also, typing “…” doesn’t make you seem more thoughtful. Please stop it.

Because Cosby is a rapist. Kavanaugh isn’t even accused of rape. It’s possible he once drew a phallus doodle on a bathroom door when he was ten. But what boy hasn’t?

False equivalencies are tools of the weak-minded.

How is it that you used to call yourself the “Dean of Comedy?” Learn some rules on commas, man. That was one brutal sentence.

Finally, it’s never about leftists acting like douchebags. It’s always about conservatives reacting to them.

Yeah, because the comparisons are stupid. See all my explanations above. Use your middle finger to scroll, if your pointer finger is tired from shaking it at people who don’t deserve it.

This article was posted: Wednesday, September 26, 2018 at 6:02 am

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