neighborhood watch groups into "antiterrorist informant cells". You see, without one in three Americans being FBI informers, the evil boogeymen that live in caves will come to get us, for no apparent reason other than they hate our freedoms. That is why we must be stripped of our precious freedom so it can be put in a "lock-box" of sorts where the terrorists cannot get to it.

Remember, these terrorists are brilliant. They are so brilliant that they anticipated and managed to piggy-back the September 11th attacks on top of two drills going on that morning. (One, a
CIA drill, where an airplane crashing into a building was to be "simulated", and the other, a semi-annual NORAD drill apparently intended to "test" our nations defenses against attack.)

Yet, these are also the same "stupid cowards" who told their flight instructors that they wanted to learn how to fly planes, but not land them. (This of course is false, not that anyone really cares or will let silly things like facts interfere with a perfectly good conspiracy theory. A May 22, 2002
New York Times article reported that "[Secretary of Transportation] Norman Mineta said today that it was not true that Mr. Moussaoui told his instructors, as has been widely reported, that he was only interested in learning to maneuver a Boeing 747 and not in how to land one. Mr. Moussaoui did want to learn to land the plane, Mr. Mineta said.")

These ingenious/stupid cave-dwellers are part of an international terrorist group called "al-Qaeda" that was assembled from members of the Muslim Brotherhood by the US government in the mid to late 1970's to fight the Soviet Union's invasion of Afghanistan. Recent myth and folklore describe this relationship to be "a necessary evil" that ended promptly after the Soviets had been driven off. This is hardly the case. The U.S. Congress has documented in detail, the links of Al Qaeda to agencies of the U.S. government during the civil war in Bosnia-Herzegovina, as well as in Kosovo. More recently in Macedonia,
just a few months before September 11, U.S. military advisers were mingling with Mujahideen mercenaries financed by "al Qaeda". Both groups were fighting under the auspices of the Kosovo Liberation Army (KLA), within the same terrorist paramilitary formation.

The present state of this organization, as of 5/6/03 "
remains a serious threat, with sleeper cells and agents "ready to act" and bases apparently relocated outside of Afghanistan". This dramatically changed in one day from "a growing belief among U.S. intelligence agencies that 19 months of worldwide counterterrorism operations and arrests have nearly crippled the organization." The cause of this change is unknown, but upon reflecting on Ari Fleicher's comments that Americans "had better watch what they say", the lack of any serious journalistic investigation of these changes can be expected. But I digress.

America is taking action against this "serious threat". We have expanded our central government to a size never before seen in history. We have created a "Department of Homeland Security" and an "Office of Information Awareness" to ensure protection from this "threat to freedom". There has been great success in this area. Recently in Texas, some
"cowards" and "terrorists" were tracked by the Department of Homeland Security, presumably for "trying to force a change of government policy" as terrorism is defined by the USA PATRIOT ACT. These "terrorists" were Democratic Texas House Legislators.

Even local officials have begin to help "protect America" such as those who drafted proposed Oregon Senate Bill 742 [
PDF file]. Apparently in Oregon, they have no laws against terrorism or the initiation of violence, so they felt the need to create some. A few activities listed under Section 19, chapter 666 include theft, unauthorized use of a vehicle, forgery, prostitution, cheating, dogfighting, unlawful distribution of cigarettes, unauthorized use of a livestock animal, interference with livestock production, and even unlawful labeling of a sound recording. Anyone convicted of "terrorism" would get an automatic life sentence (at a "forest or work camp") with a 25-year minimum before being considered for parole. If a group is engaging in these activities, such as protesting, or "unlawful labeling of a sound recording", the entire group could be detained, charged with said crime, and sent to a "forest or work camp" for the rest of their lives.

Critics of these kinds of actions and legislation have questioned the need to put so much power and so many resources into the hands of those who "failed to protect us" that dark Tuesday morning. These "so called patriots" have brought up the possibility, based on the knowledge of world history, that the US government might use these tools to create a police state and dismantle the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, and the protections that make this country and the American way of life the finest in the world.

This is obviously extreme paranoia. These "delusional America-haters" have sided with the enemy. Remember, there are evil boogeymen hiding under every single bed in every home in America. Without a KGB-style police state to "root them out", they will strike again. They will take away your freedom. They will come over here wielding swords and force everybody to grow beards.

Don't believe me? You must be a "terrorist" yourself.

Worry not, FEMA is building your new home as we speak.

"We're from the government and we're here to help."
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Previous Columns

Who Exactly are the Paranoid anti-Americans?

9.11, the Zionist Angle, and the Distortion of the Truth

Who Exactly are the Paranoid anti-Americans?

By Wade Inganamort

"I envision 100 million Americans looking for indicators of terrorism and promptly reporting it to a central database where it would get analyzed."

Or so says Mike Licata of the New Jersey-based
Community Anti-Terrorism Training Institute, or CAT Eyes who wishes to create what he calls "a modern civil defense network," converting