Louder With Crowder
May 11th, 2018
A Cornell student fought the patriarchy by tossing her clothes with her dignity. And by “fought the patriarchy” I mean “getting the patriarchy’s attention.” What better way to wage war than by engaging in the opposite of a sneak attack?
Feminists are replacing the element of surprise with bare breasts and thongs. If only George Washington had thought of this lesser known strategy. Instead of crossing the Potomac in the middle of icy winter, General Washington should’ve enlisted the most classless lasses the 13 colonies had to offer. Ripping their corsets to quickly deploy their mammaries. Red Coats would’ve been flabbergasted by the bewb flappage. Imagine the paintings splashed across high school textbooks. Bet more boys would’ve paid attention.
Enter this wardrobe-challenged chica. She presented her senior thesis and fought patriarchy by flipping off her closet full of clothes.
A female student at Cornell University stripped down to her underwear—twice—before presenting her senior thesis to professors and other students.
The student was attempting to strike a blow against the patriarchy, repudiating her media arts professor’s advice to dress up for the presentation
Here’s what the professor said in response:
“I do not tell my students what to wear, nor do I define for them what constitutes appropriate dress,” Maggor later clarified in an email to the Sun. “I ask them to reflect for themselves and make their own decisions.” Indeed, the syllabus warns students to “dress appropriately for the persona” they plan to present.
Makes sense. Your outward appearance is a representation of who you are. No one knows this better than ladies, who fret and worry about their wardrobe and what to wear! every damn day. Because outwardly appearance matters.
But when a syllabus reiterates that which most women everywhere have known since four-years-old, suddenly it’s time to get nekked. To fight oppression and stuff. Who knew shirts and jeans were inventions of the super secret patriarchy.
Maggor apologized for the remark anyway, after Chai stormed out of the class. She eventually returned, stripped down to her underwear, and continued with the presentation.
By the by, Professor Maggor’s first name is Rebekah. Which is just a dumber way of spelling “Rebecca.” So Rebekah got to correct people her entire life on how to spell her name because mommy and daddy wanted people to think they were creative. No. However it’s spelled, Rebekah is a name better associated with people who have front holes instead of wangs.
So our special student of the hour is protesting the patriarchy even though the professor is a babe, not a bro.
This is why I maintain most modern, third-wave feminists have the IQs of stuffed iguanas. If you want to protest the patriarchy, which is silly but let’s play along, put your hair in curlers and wear a tarp. See also, Hillary Clinton. No one sticks it to the patriarchy quite like a lady who appropriates a Tipi.
Whatever you do, don’t give men exactly what they want: nekked and almost nekked ladies.
This article was posted: Friday, May 11, 2018 at 7:09 am