Louder With Crowder
August 7, 2017
Life has been pretty rough for leftists over the past year. Especially after their precious King Obama was dethroned, and replaced with the Trump.
Since taking office, the Donald has been busy at work, bringing all the leftist things crashing down (read Donald Trump Bans Transgenders in the Military. Leftists Lose Their Crap!). Much to our delight.
Naturally, Trump’s policies have left progressives severely triggered. In fact, people are so traumatized over Trump, they are turning to professional cuddlers. As in, they pay people to cuddle with them. This is a thing now.
This room is called The Love Dome and hosts events including yoga, dance and private parties. Every Wednesday and Saturday night, The Love Dome is host to Cuddle Sanctuary, an organization that leads group cuddle events, professional cuddling and training for professionals. This is one of their group cuddle sanctuaries.
The elephant in the room during some of these sessions, though, is the current state of the country’s affairs. Since November – and the election of Donald Trump – professional cuddling services have seen a spike in client interest.
“The holiday season was the first time that since Trump won the election that a lot of people were seeing their family,” says Adam Lippin, co-founder and CEO of Cuddlist, which provides training services to professional cuddlers and allows clients to search listings of “Cuddlists” nearby. “People with different political views were going to be in the same place with relatives. That was the first hit of people having to confront it in a significant way. We saw an uptick around that.”
Look, if people are that desperate to part with their greenbacks in exchange for a hug, who am I to stop them. This is America, after all. Now, having said that…
If you ever needed proof leftists are like small children, this is it. They could accept the Trump as president and move on like adults. But, crying into the arms of hug-hookers and hosting Play-Doh coping parties seems more logical. Let’s not forget, these are the same leftists who see themselves fit to have absolute control over our education and our healthcare.
I don’t know about you, but I’m eager to see where this reverse evolution goes next. Leftists are edging closer to infancy every day. I can foresee adult baby bottles and artificial womb sacks in their near future. Anything to keep their brittle progressive egos from facing reality.
This is the end result of safe spaces and trigger warnings. You get an entire generation of people, emotionally incapable of not getting their way. So, they turn to surrogate parents, like professional cuddlers and big-government socialists to make things “right” for them. I suppose growing up is just out of the question.
This article was posted: Monday, August 7, 2017 at 5:37 am