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Monsanto Mind Games: Health Ranger interviews Monsanto scientist Alex Blaine Layder (satire)

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Mike Adams
Natural News
Oct 1, 2012

Yes indeed, readers, we have secured the world’s first interview with a top Monsanto scientist named Alex Blaine Layder. (Read the name out loud, quickly.) He provides some real answers about GMOs and why Monsanto’s technology can help save the world.

Adams: So, to begin, why are you saying that GMOs are such a tremendous benefit to the world?

Layder: Well, as you know, GMOs cause infertility and cancer tumors, and that reduces the birth rate which is subsequently good for the planet.

Adams: How’s that good for the planet, exactly?

Layder: Fewer people, of course. Isn’t that the goal? (Pauses) This is the interview with Bilberberg Insider, yes?

Adams: Uh, no, this is the interview with NaturalNews.com.

Layder: (Hesitates) Ah… well… then I’m afraid we must start over and I hereby retract everything I previously stated.

  • A d v e r t i s e m e n t

Adams: Okay, but you can’t just take back what you already said.

Layder: Oh yes I can. I called takebacks when I entered the room.

Adams: I didn’t hear you call takebacks.

Layder: I called it silently. In my own mind.

Adams: I don’t think that counts.

Layder: It counts at Monsanto.

Adams: (Clears throat) Okay, then taking back what you just said, why do you think GMOs are so good for the world?

Layder: (Confidently) Because they’re completely safe for human consumption.

Adams: But you previously just said they cause infertility and cancer.

Layder: No I didn’t.

Adams: Um, yes you did.

Layder: There’s merely your opinion. I have a dozen scientists standing by who can author scientific papers stating that I said no such thing.

Adams: (In disbelief) All righty then. So you’re saying GMOs are perfectly safe.

Layder: Yes, they are.

Adams: Do they cause infertility and cancer, by chance?

Layder: Of course not! That’s preposterous!

Adams: Okay, then how do you know they don’t cause infertility and cancer?

Layder: Because we have the science to prove it!

Adams: You have science that proves GMOs don’t cause infertility or cancer?

Layder: Oh yes, and the studies were meticulously designed and carried out by my scientific team right here at Monsanto.

Adams: Isn’t that a conflict of interest, if Monsanto is carrying out its own science in an effort to try to show its products are not harmful?

Layder: How could that possibly be a conflict of interest?

Adams: Um, maybe because Monsanto has a financial interest in selling more genetically engineered seeds?

Layder: That’s absurd. Monsanto operates with the highest degree of scientific ethics and full disclosure.

Adams: Full disclosure?

Layder: FULL disclosure. We disclose everything.

Adams: Then why is Monsanto opposed to labeling GMOs on foods?

Layder: Because that would confuse people.

Adams: How would that confuse people?

Layder: Because only scientists can really interpret the meaning of a statement such as “This food contains genetically engineered ingredients.” To any non-scientist, that statement might as well be written in Greek.

Adams: Well, it makes sense to me. I’m pretty sure it means the food contains genetically modified ingredients.

Layder: You don’t even know what you’re saying. You’re just repeating words.

Adams: No, actually, I’m explaining a concept by using words.

Layder: No you aren’t, you’re just engaged in linguistic parroting. You can’t really know what you’re saying because you’re not a scientist.

Adams: So an investigative journalist can’t understand words?

Layder: Not these words.

Adams: So which words can an investigative journalist understand, then?

Layder: Only words that have nothing to do with Monsanto.

Adams: (Frustrated) Mister Layder, I dare say it seems you’re just making things up as you go along. I think you’re playing Monsanto mind games with me…

Layder: You’re a non-scientist and therefore can’t be expected to understand the higher level of logic and reason which I am invoking in this discussion.

Adams: You’re invoking logic and reason?

Layder: I just did, yes, in stealth mode. You didn’t notice it because I have mastered a level of logic and reason above your cognitive grasp.

Adams: I see. And who else has access to this high level of logic and reason?

Layder: Only Monsanto scientists. We actually invented it here. In fact, we’re now teaching this superior Monsanto logic to other scientists and academics at universities around the world. This is one of our many gifts to humanity.

Adams: To have the world made fluent in “MonsantoThink?”

Layder: It is our goal to uplift humanity to a higher level of scientific understanding.

Adams: Wouldn’t labeling GMO foods provide a higher level of understanding?

Layder: See, that statement is not logical. You’re not sufficiently educated to even ask that question.

Adams: So asking a question is, itself, a violation of what you call higher reasoning a logic?

Layder: Now you’re getting it! That it even took you this long to grasp this fundamental concept further demonstrates your lack of scientific aptitude.

Adams: So let me get this straight. By definition, then, no one can question Monsanto’s GMO science because the very act of questioning is, itself, not recognized as “scientific” by your team of corporate scientists?

Layder: You make it sound like that’s a bad thing.

Adams: Isn’t it?

Layder: You’re not scientific qualified to answer that question, Mike Adams. This interview is over! I cannot suffer under your lack of scientific understanding any longer!

Any “science” that does not tolerate scrutiny is no science at all

In 1692, nineteen men and women were convicted of “witchcraft” and murdered by the townspeople because they did not buy into the status quo beliefs of the era. “Another man of over eighty years was pressed to death under heavy stones for refusing to submit to a trial on witchcraft charges. Hundreds of others faced accusations of witchcraft; dozens languished in jail for months without trials until the hysteria that swept through Puritan Massachusetts subsided.” (http://law2.umkc.edu/faculty/projects/ftrials/salem/salem.htm)

Today, Monsanto and its corporate-science poison pushers suffer under the same type of hysteria that swept through Massachesetts in 1692. They harshly condemn all who disagree with them and proclaim they have a monopoly on all knowledge and understanding. Across the so-called “scientific” community today, the mere asking of intelligent questions about vaccines, psychiatric drugs or genetically engineered food is enough to have you condemned as a crazy person who has no idea what they’re talking about.

But it all comes down to a mind game. There is no real science of safety behind GMOs. The entire “scientific” defense of GMOs is a charade carried out by corporate science charlatans who have traded their honor for a cheap paycheck.

Remember: When it comes to Monsanto, vaccines, psychiatric drugs and even fluoride no intelligence is allowed. Logic is an enemy and truth is a menace.


This article was posted: Monday, October 1, 2012 at 2:26 am

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