Louder With Crowder
August 7, 2018
Remember where you were for this momentous occasion of masculine magnificence. Anyone who keeps up with football will tell you the sport is going through some changes. The NFL as of late has doused itself with progressive Kool-Aid like some kind of freewheeling coed that one summer at band camp. If you thought kneeling during the anthem was the farthest they would go, have your best mate hold your Bud. Errbody in the club about to get tipsy.
Get ready to say hello to cheerleaders. Equipped with peppy pom-poms and penises. Bouncing bosoms not included. Yet.
NFL fans will see history made this season, and it has nothing to do with what goes on between the goalposts.
The Los Angeles Rams and the New Orleans Saints will have male cheerleaders dancing on their squads for the first time.
Dancers Quinton Peron and Napoleon Jinnies have been preparing for the NFL season since they made the Rams cheerleading squad in March.
History, as they say, is made. He or she who thought dudish cheerleaders were a swell idea, cast the first deflated ball sack.
Step aside, Tom Brady. Not so fast, Jimmy Garropolo. The newest NFL heartthrobs are toe-touching a new generation of… people?!
“Still can’t believe I’m one of the first males in history to be a pro NFL cheerleader!” Jinnies tweeted after being selected.
Other teams, like the Indianapolis Colts and the Baltimore Ravens, have stuntmen, USA Today reported, but Peron and Jinnies will be dancing alongside their female teammates and doing the same moves.
So in the name of team spirit, this fall we can look forward to men in tights sashaying about. Popping hips. Twirling tallywhackers. Kickball changing their way to studley greatness.
There’s only one word to describe it. FABULOUS!
Gimme a W! Gimme a T! Gimme an F!
I’m still trying to figure out who asked for this. The NFL will probably claim they’re doing it for the ladies. Though, I don’t know of any women who get weak in the knees at the sight of a man who knows his way around these here pom-poms. Especially when there’s a wide receiver at the peak of human performance sprinting past him.
Leftism is infecting sports. Today it’s male cheerleaders. Tomorrow, the NFL will recruit cheerleaders from RuPaul’s Drag Race to “werk it” and “slay” on the sidelines. “That would work wonders for bringing the LGBT crowd into the fold.” God help us.
This article was posted: Tuesday, August 7, 2018 at 5:48 am