Thursday, April 28, 2011
The Birthers just don’t know when to quit, do they? Now that the White House has released President Obama’s birth certificate, the case is now closed, but they just won’t stop ranting about it. Why are these birthers still complaining?
They claim the birth certificate document is a fake. Why does that matter? But of course the document is a fake. It’s not “merely” fake; it’s so fake that the whole thing has become an IQ test for figuring out how many people can be so easily fooled by a fake (http://www.prisonplanet.com/new-oba…). If I turned in a document like this as part of an effort to get a home loan, for example, and I assembled it layer by layer with obvious cutting and pasting of numbers from multiple sources in order to fake my reported income levels, I would be guilty of a felony crime. At the very least, I would be laughed out of the room. “Are you kidding me? This is your best attempt at falsifying an income statement?” they would say. Even a high school kid with a scanner and Photoshop knows how to make a more convincing forgery than this… (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2eOf…)
For an explanation of why it’s all so obviously a fake, watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNJf…
But I ask the far more important question: Does it matter that it’s a fake in the first place? Given that most of the U.S. government’s job statistics are fake, and that the U.S. dollar is being counterfeited on a daily basis by the Fed, and that virtually the entire U.S. economy is built on fake “abundance” that’s really just more debt spending… isn’t it is some way actually more authentic to have a President at the helm who faked his birth certificate?
It’s almost like he’s more qualified for the job, you see, running the fake economy with fake dollars while the mainstream media distributes all the fake news. And then in between the fake news bits, the advertisers come on and promote their fake foods, and fake pharmaceuticals which are approved based on faked science approved by FDA regulators who are faking it, too.
Couples are now artificially fertilized (fake conception!), and when their children are born, they feed them fake milk (infant formula). They grow up on fake sweeteners and fake (artificial) colors. In school, they’re taught fake U.S. history so that they have fake ideas of how the world really works. When they’re old enough, they get to participate in faked voting schemes where the winners are already determined.
And thanks to the internet, we live in a world of fake friends, fake emotions and fake sex. Football games are played on fake grass, and today’s “reality” TV shows are all faked, too. Professional wrestling is fake (but MMA isn’t), and most of the news consumed by the masses is entirely fabricated. Even the science behind most of modern medicine is faked, fabricated or twisted around in order to get the results the drug companies want to see.
And oh yeah, the drugs are faked, too, especially the antidepressants which appear to work only because of the Placebo Effect — which is real, even though it only exists in the mind.
For the most part, we are fake people living in a fake world engaged in fake interactions. So why shouldn’t we have a fake President with a fake birth certificate to top it all off?
I don’t know what the problem is here with the obviously fake birth certificate. Of course it’s a fake. But isn’t that what we vote for when we vote for any president? After all, presidential election campaigns are all about making fake promises uttered with fake smiles as part of faked speeches that are actually written by somebody else and read on the teleprompter.
In fact, I would argue that Obama’s faked birth certificate makes him more authentic than any other President in American history. It is precisely this mastery of fakery that has allowed Obama to deliver fake health care reform, faked world peace (new war on Libya!), and faked preparedness (radioactive fallout from Fukushima? Don’t prepare!)
It’s perfect for a nation of fake people who live in fake houses with the fake stonework plastered onto the front to make them look as if they were built out of stone. The people go get their cosmetic surgery and botox (faked youth!) so they can meet new fake people and pursue their fake relationships with faked orgasms. Their profiles on Facebook are completely faked; their resumes handed in at prospective employers are faked; and even their apparent “wealth” is faked because they’re neck-deep in debt on that luxury car parked in the driveway of the luxury house they can’t afford.
At work, they fake like they’re getting something done so that they can receive a paycheck that’s also largely faked because it’s denominated in fake dollars which are deposited in a fake (electronic) bank account so that the money can be multiplied and leveraged in order for the bank to keep creating more fake currency in the form of loans handed out to people who faked their credit history and lied on their loan applications. But who cares? As long as we all fake it together, the system works!
So we go shopping with our fake money and we buy fake “fashion” jeans with fake holes already pre-fabricated right into the pant legs, and we purchase our colognes and perfumes made with fake chemical fragrances that try to put a fake smell on our bodies so that we can meet other fake people who wear their own faked chemical smells to try to fool us into thinking they smell like fresh flowers and honey when, in reality, they stink like a country goat.
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They use cosmetics to fake their skin health, and hair implants to fake their hair growth. Young girls are wearing fake contact lenses to fake their pupil dilation as fakes sign of faked sexual arousal. This is designed to get a rise out of their fake date partner who takes them to a fake restaurant to order fake food grown from fake (GMO) seeds and fertilizers with fake soils (made out of composted human sewage) which is contaminated with fake hormones (HRT drugs) and other drugs.
And the next morning they’ll wake up and share a bowl of faked blueberries in their faked breakfast cereals. Those have been faked, too, as shown in my video, “The Blueberry Deception.” (www.ConsumerWellness.org)
In fact, the whole matrix in which we live today is so universally faked and fabricated that I’m not sure that an authentic, genuine human being would even have a chance at leading the nation. We need fake Presidents to lead our fake nation into fake economic abundance, so all those “birthers” screaming about the faked birth certificate should frankly just shut up and eat their fake ham sandwiches made with that faked processed cheese food-like substance squeezed between two pieces of fake white bread.
Stop complaining and watch your fake “reality” TV shows, listen to the fake news, work at your fake government job and keep swallowing fake food so that you can become a highly-profitable patient in our faked health care system based on faked science and run by fake researchers. This is how the system works today. Reality has nothing to do with it, and you should abandon any such bizarre ideas. They’re unpatriotic.
In fact, the release of Obama’s birth certificate, with all its layers and Photoshop edits and mismatched numbers that were obviously assembled from multiple sources is not an admission of fakery — it’s a proud statement of authenticity! It says that our President is perfectly in tune with the faked society over which he presides. That’s what we need in America today; a genuine man of the People.
After all, only a true fake can achieve the level of fakery required in our world to be embraced as authentic.
And today, I bow down to the master of fakery; the man who is so authentic in his fakiness that he has released the world’s first authentic counterfeit birth certificate, proudly assembled from layers that would be widely considered faked by anyone who wasn’t sufficiently psychologically invested in the real world, by which I mean our faked society.
From here forward, I think we should all just start faking it. Reality, after all, is overrated.
This article was posted: Thursday, April 28, 2011 at 3:16 pm