You can’t quite make out the face of the Bilderberg delegate on the waterskis, but I’m pretty sure from his shape that it isn’t Ken Clarke. Is it the US deputy secretary of state, James Steinberg? No, Steinberg prefers a shorter rope. “Next year I bring a bigger lens,” says Paul Dorneanu, the young Romanian Bilderberg hunter who took the photo.

He shows me another: a long-range shot of two happy globalists in an inflatable doughnut ring and Speedos, skidding about behind a powerboat. If only the image was sharper we might see Peter Mandelson snatching a chat with Jean-Claude Trichet, the president of the European Central Bank. “So how do we sell … splooosh! … wooo! … the abolition of the pound to the … sploosh! … electorate? Again! Again! Once more round the bay!”

The names of this year’s delegates are starting to drip in: the prime minister of Greece, Kostas Karamanlis, is a definite. Jim Tucker tells me that the former Swedish prime minister and thinktank whore, Carl Bildt, gave an important speech. “He spoke about the need for a worldwide department of the treasury and a worldwide department of health, brought in on the back of economic meltdown and global warming. Swine flu being the first trick they tried …”

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